I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize