Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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