then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
