i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
