Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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