you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
