Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
