It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
