OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Randomize
