how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
