Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
