dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I will be naked everywhere
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Randomize
