Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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