That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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