Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
