I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
