At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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