yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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