someone threw a dead crab at me
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
