Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
