While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
