Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think a kid would responsible me up
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
