Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
