Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
