I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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