so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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