Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
foreskin is a definite game changer
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize