I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
time to smoke my breakfast
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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