i just had sex bonerless
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I love you. Go after that dick
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
