i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
