i permit you to call me
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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