Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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