i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
