Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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