I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
