Already got asked if we're dating
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
