She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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