I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
