Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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