i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize