he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Randomize
