idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
