im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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