I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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