Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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