I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
