That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
