Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i just made my gag reflex go away.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
