After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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