i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
