Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
