hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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