All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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