"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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