Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
