You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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