I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I looked at my own cervix.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
