Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Semen is not good for contacts.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
