so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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