just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
