I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
