If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm at about main and main street
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
