Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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