if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
